Ask me anything   Rosie, 20s, happily married, bisexual, curvy geek!
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(Poly) dating.

Eight months ago, after years of talking about it, my husband and I decided to try being poly. It’s working out very well and I’m finding the concept of balancing multiple relationships comes quite naturally to me (after all, I’ve done it before, but less honestly, sad to say). What I’m finding very new, is in fact dating.

I had boyfriends between the ages of 14 and 16, and was sexually active, but we never went on dates, we would just go to each other’s houses. Then I met Mr G at 17, and we went on two dates before becoming serious and again, I just used to go round his house a lot and in fact within two months I had  moved in. Of course, over the years we’ve been out together many times, but going on dates with your long-term partner is very different to dating, I’m finding.

So now I’m in my late 20s and dating really for the first time. I feel like I’m a teenager again, like I’m picking up where I left off and I’ve been asleep these last twelve years. Maybe that’s why, of the three people I’ve been on dates with since going poly, one is 20 and one 21. Or maybe that’s just a coincidence; the other is 41 after all (and my secret lover, my S, who I cannot date due to our circumstances, is 38). But I kind of feel like I have more in common with people in their early 20s than late. My ADHD and the fact that I still haven’t completed my degree, and only work part-time is a factor there too. As a teenager, I always dated older men and I still have a liking for them. But I’m getting interest from younger people now and I’m more receptive to that than I thought.

I’m enjoying dating. There’s something nice about not rushing things. (Emotionally, I mean. Physically, well, of my three first dates this year, I had sex on two of them!) I like taking the time to get to know people better, and actually talking about things — looking back, my first two boyfriends didn’t have much in common with me at all and we hardly talked about anything except our relationship. I think being poly is making dating fun too, because now I don’t have to worry about where things are going or what things “mean”, all that matters is whether we like each other and whether we enjoy each other’s company now. Far from the angst of my teens, and (truth be told, far from the drama of my secret love with my S, sigh.)

In summary, so far… dating is fun.

(Poly) dating. was originally published on smutkitten

— 1 month ago with 6 notes
STI screening.

A couple of days ago I went to get tested for STIs. As I’m seeing several people, I try to go every couple of months, just to be sensible. I’m using condoms, of course, but you can never be too sensible about these things. Plus I am lucky enough to live in a country with a national health service, so I’ve got no excuse not to go! (My birth control is free too, yay for the NHS.)

This is actually only the second time I’ve been. I should’ve gone as a teenager really, but I was too scared. I didn’t know what to expect when I went for the first time three months ago, but it was actually really quick and simple! I have to answer a few questions about when I last had sex, but they don’t pry or judge at all. Funnily enough, the first time I went I was really embarrassed about telling the doctor I was married, as I had just told him I’d had sex with two different men in a week. I’d told him that quite nonchalantly, but then when it came to saying I had a husband… I suddenly felt self-conscious. But the doctor kindly told me not to be embarrassed and just moved on with the questions!

They take blood to test for HIV and syphilis, and a vaginal swab to check for chlamydia. As I have no symptoms, they let me do my own swab in private. It’ s just like a big cotton bud (or q-tip if you’re American) that you stick up there and swirl about for a few seconds. Easy! (Testing for people with penises is even easier I believe, I think it’s just a urine test!)  The first time I went, I also had a mouth swab, because I had been having oral sex with somebody that I hadn’t had vaginal sex with at that point. The nurse did the mouth swab, which again was just sticking a cotton bud into the back of my mouth, and I gagged but she said that’s a sign of a good sample XD

And that’s it! Two weeks later they sent a text (unless you request to be contacted by other means) and then you know what’s what. I’m pretty confident these results will come back clean like last time, but it feels good when you can be sure! So if you need to go but you’ve been putting it off out of nervousness — it’ll be fine, I promise! Be brave!

STI screening. was originally published on smutkitten

— 1 month ago
TMI Tuesday

1. Do you prefer your lover:

a) fresh from the bath and perfumed?

b) fresh from the bath without perfume?

c) clean but not right from the tub or shower?

d) slightly sweaty (or musky)?

Maybe D, actually. My S smokes and I love the smell on him, especially right after he’s had a cigarette. He’s really self-conscious of the smell though and he often sprays himself liberally with bodyspray to hide it, but I really like that smell too. Especially when you can still smell the cigarettes underneath. I kinda like the smell of fresh musky sweat too.

2. Do you maintain your body for sex with respect to facial hair, body hair, pubic hair, fingernails or toenails?
I shave my legs and underarms, and use hair removal cream to give myself a landing strip. I like having bright fingernails and I try and co-ordinate them with my outfit. I paint my toenails too but nearly always a bright pink.

3. Do you maintain/prepare according to your lover’s preferences?
Not really. Both my lovers say what I do with my body hair is my choice, and are too polite to express a preference even when I sk, heh. I’ve never really asked them about my nails but I think they like it. My husband is always buying me nail polish when he wants to give me a little surprise present.

4. Do you have body adornments such as piercings or tattoos for sexual reasons? Does your lover?
I don’t and neither do my current lovers.

5. Do you choose any cosmetics, lubes, condoms or other sexually relevant items according to how they taste? Do you not use them because of the taste?
Not really. I like strawberry, chocolate and mint flavours but I don’t usually use condoms or lube for oral.

6. Is there a taste or aroma that turns you on or that you can use to turn on your lover?
There’s not really something that turns me on, but for a while we were using a mint scented lube and my husband would get horny every time he smelt mint anywhere, heh.

Bonus: Do you prepare a room for sex–mood music, candles, scent, cleaning it or anything? Tell us about it.
Heh, just cleaning. Not for my husband, only visiting lovers ;)

Questions from here!

TMI Tuesday was originally published on smutkitten

— 1 month ago
TMI Tuesday

1. What is your astrological symbol? Does it fit you?
I presume you mean my sun sign, which is Pisces and yes it suits me perfectly. All my signs do, actually. I have Leo Moon (passionate emotions), Aquarius rising (aloof demeanor), Mercury in Pisces (I think with my heart), and both Venus and Mars in Aries (headstrong & intense romantically & sexually).

2. List 3 of the good traits of your astrological symbol to which you can relate.
(Again, I’m guessing you mean my sun sign.) Imaginative, compassionate, intense.

3. List 3 of the worst traits of your astrological symbol that you believe do not pertain to you.
All the Pisces traits pertain to me! Three of the worst traits are unrealistic, secretive, and prone to melancholy.

4. What is your Chinese zodiac animal symbol?
The Ox. I know less about the Chinese Zodiac, but I am pretty stubborn as Oxes tend to be.

5. In Chinese philosophy, The Theory of the Five Elements describes the interaction and relation of natural phenomena. The five elements of wood, fire, Earth, metal and water affect your zodiac sign. Which element are you? Find out here
Water, like my Western sun sign, Pisces!

Bonus: Briefly tell us something you found interesting about your Chinese zodiac as it pertains to the Five Elements.
Water in Chinese astrology seems to be very similar to Western astrology, representing creativity and sensitivity, etc. So that suits me too.

Questions from here!

TMI Tuesday was originally published on smutkitten

— 2 months ago with 1 note
Foot-popping sex

I’m wearing my (fake) hot pink Converse today and thinking about how I was wearing these shoes when my S last fucked me, four days ago (seems like longer). We were fully-clothed although I’d taken my knickers off, because we didn’t have much time and could be interrupted. I was lying on my back on…

Foot-popping sex was originally published on smutkitten

— 2 months ago
Ask smutkitten: How do I learn to love blowjobs again?

I am trying to develop a taste for blowjobs. It’s funny because before my husband, I gave them all the time and liked it, I even swallowed with no problem. But when we started, he liked them as foreplay but not the main action, and it became less important, and he felt uncomfortable cumming in my mouth or anything (said it felt “degrading” to me). I kind of came to think of it as “unwifely,” as stupid and backwards as that sounds. He’s never denied that I’m really good at them! And recently he admitted that he always loved them. But the problem is now I feel like I associate bjs with casual sex as opposed to committed marriage sex. I’ve been getting back into it, but one thing I still have such a hard time doing again is letting him cum in my mouth. I have to psych myself up for it so much! It’s like HE thought it was so gross that he convinced me of it! How do I get back to 16 year old, bj-loving me?

It’s so easy to pick up negative sexual associations, and so hard to unlearn them, unfortunately!

I would start by getting completely comfortable with blowjobs again before moving onto letting him come in your mouth.Take the blowjob slow, and remember, you don’t have to have it in your mouth all the time! You can lick it, rub it against your lips, use your hand in between using your mouth, whatever you like. Don’t feel you have to deepthroat if you’re not comfortable with that; I love sucking cock but I never deepthroat, because I can’t do it and I don’t want to learn! I still give a great blowjob though; going deep and choking isn’t essential.

Blowjobs can be the ‘main action’, without being the final action. Maybe finish him off with a handjob while kissing slowly and romantically. Play with his cum in your hand, and maybe rub it into his tummy in a sensuous kind of way. You could even try both licking it from your fingers; if you both do it then hopefully you’ll feel like you are both equal and he’s not degrading you. This might get you used to the texture of come on your tongue too. (I have to admit, much as I enjoy swallowing, I really don’t like the taste of semen so I wouldn’t enjoy doing this, but if you don’t mind the taste then maybe this will help you!)

When you’re comfortable with blowjobs, and with his come, it’s time to try combining the two again and letting him come in your mouth! Get him to tell you just before he comes, so you’re not surprised by it. Maybe he can stroke your hair in a tender kind of way, whisper sweet things to you, anything you can think of to make the moment feel romantic and sensual. Kiss him right afterwards, if he doesn’t mind the taste (although to be honest, it’s only fair that if you have to taste it, he does too!)

Getting comfortable again will just take practice. Don’t feel like you need to rush it; take it one step at a time and don’t force yourself to do anything you’re not comfortable with or ready for. Let him know what he can do to make you feel relaxed and loved. Good luck, and have fun!

Got a sex-related problem you want some advice on? Ask smutkitten! Send me a message on tumblr, anonymously if you want to!

Ask smutkitten: How do I learn to love blowjobs again? was originally published on smutkitten

— 2 months ago with 1 note
Review: TENGA Iroha Sakura

sakura2I knew I had to have this toy as soon as I saw it. It’s just ADORABLE. It’s even cuter in person. It’s soft and squishy with a smooth, almost shiny surface. It is irresistibly squishy.

read more

— 2 months ago
TMI Tuesday

1. How addicted are you? You are in a rush, there is no time to make your morning coffee or stop to buy it. However, you can save time and get your “energy high” by brushing your teeth with a caffeine-infused toothbrush. Would you buy and use this product? Why or why not?
I’m not at all addicted! I hate coffee. My ADHD medication is a stimulant so I guess that’s my ‘fix’, but taking my pills is quicker than brushing my teeth so no thanks XD

2. You made a sex list of all the things you’d like to do but haven’t done. The list was lost and discovered by your boss at work. He/she ask if they can help you tick a few items off the list. What do you say?
Hahaha, well, actually my S is my boss. So I’d say “yes please!”. And actually last week I told him something I hadn’t done before and he did it for me!

3. Sex around the house. Have you ever been bent over the kitchen counter or bent a lover over the kitchen counter and fucked? What did you like most about it? What did you like least?
Um, I think I probably have been bent over the kitchen counter but I can’t remember. I love being bent over and fucked but kitchen counter isn’t really that much different to a desk or a sofa or anything in any other part of the house haha.

4. Sexting…How do you really feel about it?
a. Meh? Not my thing.
b. Can take it or leave it, usually have to be begged to do it
c. I like it, it’s like foreplay.
d. Love it! I’m always sending naughty notes and steamy pics.
e. What’s your number? I have a daily sexting list, wanna sign up?

d or e? My S and I sext a lot because our time together in person is very limited, and I absolutely love it. I also tweet a lot of smutty pics so I guess e might be an appropriate answer if that counts.

5. What do you love to sniff? Why?
My S! He smokes and I’ve always had a thing for smokers. I love it when he comes in from a cigarette and he smells so strongly of it, and then he goes and sprays himself liberally with bodyspray but I can still smell the smoke underneath when I’m up close to him and the combined smell turns on me on like crazy.

Questions from here!

TMI Tuesday was originally published on smutkitten

— 3 months ago with 1 note